Sitting at 75-41 I am looking for a perfect week. No week goes as expected. Call me the prognosticating alchemist, searching for the perfect balance of upsets and run-of-the-mill victories each week. After tinkering in my lab, I think I have found it! The perfect week potion! Let's put it through the scientific method.
Falcons over the Racists- This can't be the upset I am looking for, could it? The Racists are coming off a bye week normally means a sharper team. But this team is dull, in desperate need of the As Seen On TV Magic Knife. A lot of former Racists say current coach Jim Zorn isn't what the team needs. Look for him to be Chopped soon.
Bears over Cards- The Cards are 3-0 on the road and Da Bears are 3-0 at home. The Cards are the Kim Kardashian to winning's Reggie Bush. On again off again the Cards have one W of any significance. But I am going to call their Giant victory an aberration. QB Kurt Warner threw 5 picks last weeks. While the Bears D only have 7 INTs on the season, the absence of wideout Anquan Boldin due to injury will allow the Bears to focus on Larry Fitzgerald and contain him. Cutler finds Hester for a big TD.
Ravens over Bengals- Every potion has a starting point and my Super Bowl team is just that. They came out on fire after their bye week to destroy the then undefeated Broncos. Ray Lewis and company still have it and redeem their home loss to the Orange and Black.
Texans over Colts- A key ingredient to my potion. The catalyst. Certainly a close game. The Texans can wing it. And saftey Bob Sanders is out for the season for the Colts. But Peyton Manning is on FIRE. But this is a rivalry game. Yes, the Texans always play the Colts close but this time the trap snaps fast enough. Peyton Manning's tail will hit the ground just enough to slow down his attack as Texans QB Matt Schaub goes Galileo. Wideout Andre Johnson probably could catch a ball thrown to the moon and he very well may as Schaub goes for an astronomic passing yards total.
Pats over Phins- Joey Porter says referees have different rules for Tom Brady. He's right. He'll get penalized when he hits Brady. Brady will counter with 3 TDs.
Packers over Bucs- The Contract Boosters were back in full force after taking the previous week off last week. Six sacks allowed versus Minnesota was ugly. The jerseys the Bucs will be sporting will have you thinking of Betty. Bucs are on the fast track to the number one pick as they continue their win fast.
Jags over Chiefs- Kansas City is 26th in rush defense. Jacksonville running back Maurice Jones-Drew is the second best back in the league. The self-proclaimed second highest paid decoy in football pulls off some reverse psychology in a huge day.
Saints over Panthers- Like early season Jake Delhomme, this is an easy pick.
Seahawks over Lions- The birds soar too high for the kings of futility jungle.
49ers over Titans- I have love for Titans QB Vince Young but false confidence gets squashed quick in the NFL. A win over the bipolar Jags means little. Coming off 3 straight loses the 49ers are angry. A burning acidic anger makes for a strong perfect potion.
Chargers over Giants- 3 of the Chargers 4 wins are on the Raiders and Chiefs. Weaker than nonalcoholic beer. But 2 of the Giants wins come from them too. The Giants have been blown out by good teams. The Chargers have lost close. A razors edge to the road team.
Eagles over Cowboys- Two shared opponents: Tampa Bay and New York Giants. Both beat the Bucs. Eagles 33-14, Boys 34-21. The refs call it a push. Philly killed NY, 40-17. Dem Cowboys 33-31. Both had em at home so you gotta favor the Eagles.
Steelers over Broncos- Most of my Broncos losing potions have blown up in my face. Last week I straightened it out. The Steelers have figured it out after a slow start. Hot off serving the Viks their first loss of the season the Steelers continue their rude ways.
That's it. Nothing left to do but watch the reaction unfold.
TBG
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